#SophieFromRomania
What a rescue dog can teach us about tinnitus
As I sit here typing this newsletter, rain is hurling itself at the window. In fact, it feels like it has been doing nothing but rain for weeks. Couple that with the very dark January days and life feels a little bit grim.
But there has been one beacon of joy in these dreary days - #SophieFromRomania.
If you haven’t heard of Sophie, she is a Romanian rescue dog who arrived in her new home in England on 17th December, and her new life has gone viral.
She lives with Rory Cellan-Jones, who many in the UK are familiar with from his time at the BBC, and his wife Diane Coyle, who’s a professor at the University of Cambridge. They have been posting regular pup-dates about Sophie on Twitter, Instagram and, most-recently, TikTok.
After a brave start in getting to know her new human companions and surroundings, Sophie created a den behind the sofa and retreated there. She seemed very reluctant to come out:
Undeterred, her humans tried different techniques to reassure her, and entice her out of her hidey-hole:
Over the weeks Rory and Diane have experienced a rollercoaster of emotions as Sophie has ventured out and taken treats from their hands on one day, and then rarely been seen the next.
But slowly, very slowly Sophie seems to becoming more comfortable with where she is. She’s allowing her humans to pet her - occasionally! And she doesn’t always hurtle back to Sofa HQ after acquiring snacks. Allowing Sophie to explore her new home on her timescale and on her terms seems to be working :-)
Charming as Sophie’s tale undoubtedly is, what does it have to do with tinnitus? Lots as it turns out!
While Sophie lived on the streets in Romania, the rest of her history is a bit of a mystery. Because Rory and Diane don’t know what has happened to her in her short life until now, there is an bit of trial and error as they help her get used to her new home. Many of us are in the dark about why we have ended up with tinnitus. So we also have to use trial and error to see what the most effective way is to start habituating (getting used) to it.
Sophie’s journey over the last four weeks has had its ups and downs. Just when she Diane and Rory were getting excited about her bravery she would retreat to her den again, leaving them wondering what they had done wrong. Our tinnitus journey can feel like a rollercoaster too. We can wake up with our tinnitus louder than usual, and have absolutely no clue why that might be. We can drive ourselves demented thinking back over each minute of the last day in order to try and find an answer. Or we can shrug our shoulders and accept that, disappointing as it is, this is what tinnitus does sometimes.
Diane and Rory have tried a number of tactics to help Sophie adjust to her new life, including Adaptil plug-ins, a selection of delicious treats, placing rugs on the floor and offering clothes with their comforting smell on. It’s rare for us to find a way to soothe our tinnitus immediately. It completely normal to need to try a number of methods over a period of time, and often a combination of tactics seems the best solution.
Sophie’s humans have had to trust in the long-game. Rather than letting what seems to be a backward step in Sophie’s training get them down, they keep the faith that Sophie will improve with time. It would be easy for us to become despondent, too, when after some improvements in our tinnitus we have a setback. But that’s perfectly normal in the process of getting used to it being part of our lives. If we can learn to look at the overall picture rather than focus on the challenges, we will recognise that we are still improving.
There have been so many comments on Twitter about Sophie’s journey. And, as you can probably guess, there is lots of (unsolicited) advice on how to speed up her adapting to life in the UK. Most are, of course, posted with the best of intentions but aren’t terribly helpful in reality. Sound familiar?! In our tinnitus journey we need to filter the advice we receive from friends and family and social media. Much of it may be given to console or encourage us, but some is given to make a quick buck out of our suffering. So, we need to be discerning when we’re deluged with suggestions.
I think we could all do well to take a leaf from the tale of #SophieFromRomania in how to adjust to life with tinnitus. We can’t forcibly speed up our habituation. Instead we’ll make much more progress by offering ourselves compassion, understanding, flexibility and good old-fashioned time.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog, please share it with other tinnitus warriors and help others in their journey.
Aww, what a lovely story! So true about having to try different tactics with health issues. Not everything works for everyone so hurrah for trial and error. Jx